Sam Malone Meets Diane Chambers
by KensiBlonde
Summary: Sam Malone hires Diane Chambers to work at Cheers. Here's his thoughts about it. Takes place shortly after "Give Me a Ring Sometime."


_Trouble_.

Sam Malone's heart kicked up a beat when he thought of the word - it was just the kind of trouble he had an overpowering urge to get into.

Normally, Sam was a master at avoiding trouble. He was skillfully able to juggle numerous women - and keep them coming back for more even when they found out things about him that infuriated them.

But this time he was flirting with something dangerous - and he liked the feeling.

He couldn't believe it when he came out of his office - mouth stuffed with a muffin, thinking no one was around - and saw that some haughty-looking blonde had his phone up to her ear. What brass!

And then he got her to lie for him. He had to laugh when she'd blurted, "He had to go to mime class."

He was a little disappointed when he realized that her fiance was there too - he'd been looking forward to trying to work his charm on her - but as he watched the saga unfold, and the goofy professor abandoned her in the bar to return to his ex-wife - he couldn't help but feel kind of excited about it.

Despite the fact that she bordered on being downright rude to him, he didn't want that to be the last he'd ever see of her - so he'd spontaneously offered her a job even though he had an shadowy premonition that he'd live to regret it. It wasn't like he could ask her out after she'd just been unceremoniously dumped - and damned if he was letting that feisty little morsel walk out of his life for good right then.

He knew these graduate student types. They usually came into the bar early, and occasionally one of them deigned to slum with him for the evening. He liked them because, although they clearly looked down on him, they were easy to get rid of.

They never wanted anything more out of him than some good stud service - and in the morning they didn't need to be nudged out the door. Off they flounced to their snooty classes and rich boyfriends.

He knew this one would be different, but he had a fierce desire to find out just how different.

He remembered the exact moment she sparked something peculiar inside of him. It was when she'd told him that Vicki had said, "You're a magnificent pagan beast" and he'd quipped, "Thanks, what's the message?" - it was the LOOK she had given him. She had done a double take - equal parts outrage and intrigue.

He realized he could push her buttons. This was bound to be fun.

He wondered how long it would take to get her in the sack - longer than usual, he was sure of that. At least a week or two.

She wasn't his typical type. She was pretty, no doubt about that. But skinny, and without much on top. And she dressed like an old maid. But who cared - with that fire in her eyes, he had to have her. She'd put up a fight - but he'd get his way. Was he not Sam Malone?

Oh crap! Where the hell was he?

Sam had become so distracted he realized he was on a block he'd never seen before. Was this where Judy lived?

He slowed the Corvette and glanced at his watch. 7:20. Shoot, he was already late, and if he tried to find a pay phone he'd be even later. He was never late for a date!

Even worse, he wasn't completely sure it was even Judy he was supposed to meet. Should he be picking up Wanda? Sam never mixed up his women - well, hardly ever. What was wrong with him tonight?

He eased the 'Vette to an available spot on the corner. He'd have to check his black book and figure out what was going on.

He stepped out so he could stretch his long legs. He looked up and down the block - maybe Judy _did_ live here?

And then he saw her. Gliding down the street with a bag of groceries in hand - her shiny golden hair bouncing behind her. Sam's breath stuck in his throat. Damn, she was even prettier than he'd remembered.

"Diane!" he called out.

Diane looked up, dazed. She'd been lost deep in thought.

"Sam?" she asked, somewhat stunned, drawing closer to him.

Sam felt something electric shoot through him when her big cornflower blue eyes met his. Oh yes, there was a reason he'd hired her.

"What - what are you doing here?" she asked, looking bewildered.

"I - ah - do you happen to know a woman named Judy who might live around here? Tall, brunette?"

"Um, what's her last name?"

Sam laughed and tossed up his hands.

"I… don't know."

She gave him one of her slow burning looks. Something about the half-disgusted way she looked at him turned him right the hell on.

"Sorry," she said, turning up her nose slightly. "If you don't know, I'm sure I don't."

They stood eyeing each other for a moment. Sam felt something magnetic pulsing between them - didn't she feel it too? She _must_.

"So, you, ah, live around here too?"

"No, I just randomly bring groceries to strangers' houses," she smiled, sweetly.

It took him a moment to realize she'd just zinger'd him.

"That's good. That's cute. You ready for your first shift tomorrow?" he asked.

He shoved his hands in his front pockets and began to rock back and forth on his feet. He realized with a jolt that he was nervous - he hadn't felt nervous with a woman in ages.

"I think so. Sam, I'm going to be honest with you. This is my first real job. I hope I don't embarrass you - or myself."

"Well, you might embarrass yourself, but I'm pretty much beyond embarrassment."

"Ha," she said, giving a little laugh.

He loved her little "ha." Christ, how long was it going to take to get her naked? How long before he could see what she looked like and hear what she sounded like as he brought her to ecstasy?

Once he got her into bed, he'd turn that uppity attitude right around. He felt a tightness grow in his jeans and prayed she didn't see it.

"Can I help you with that?" he asked, indicating her groceries.

"Oh, no, I'm fine."

She clutched the bag to her chest, and her body language read, "Back off, buster."

"Come on, just to your door." He flashed his best Sam Malone fall-in-love-with-me smile.

"Sam," she said, her voice suddenly turning icy. "I want to keep this relationship strictly professional."

Sam felt his stomach twist into a knot. Inexplicably, he didn't mind the feeling.

"Hey, you got me all wrong. I'm just trying to be a gentleman here."

He raised his palms in a "peace" gesture. In his mind, he was grabbing her by the back of her neck and pulling her towards his mouth.

Diane sighed and looked embarrassed.

"Oh, of course. I'm sorry."

She handed him the bag of groceries and Sam felt like she'd handed him a glass case of diamonds. He picked up a stride next to her - and felt like a little boy carrying the books of the most unobtainable girl in class.

"I'm over here," Diane said, pointing to a stately prewar brownstone.

They walked up the steps and much too quickly were at her door. Sam didn't want to leave. But he knew she'd never let him upstairs. However, being Sam Malone, he had to give it one last try.

"You sure I can't put these away for you?" he asked, bouncing a little.

She shot him another one of her half-affronted, half-beguiled looks.

"Thank you, no," she said, curtly. But he caught the grin struggling not to flit across those delectable bee-stung lips, the ones he realized he'd been staring at a bit too intensely. "I'll see you tomorrow, Sam."

"You bet you will," he said. He somehow managed to stop himself from winking.

 _Don't push it too far, Mayday. You've got plenty of time._

He turned and practically skipped back down the steps. He felt light and airy. He felt like he'd just run an exhilarating mile. He felt like he could take the mound and strike out anyone who came against him.

He hurried to his car and turned to see if he could watch her walk into her building - he just HAD to catch another glimpse of that unexpectedly ripe behind - but she was gone.

Trouble. Mmm. Oh, yes. This was going to be delicious trouble.

Sam suddenly didn't care if he had a date or not, and instead decided to go home and think about Diane Chambers some more.

He groaned and clutched at his now almost-painful erection. Maybe he'd have to go find Judy after all.


End file.
